you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
