...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
