Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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