I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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