I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
