Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
