I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
