Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Panties = found
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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