why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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