Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
