i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
