whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
