The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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