No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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