He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
whose parrot is this?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
