I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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