He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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