Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
