i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
