So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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