He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
