What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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