I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
