omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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