Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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