it hurts more in the daytime
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
