I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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