Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
