you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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