Already got asked if we're dating
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
