Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
