Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
should my penis look like a turkey
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
