On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
