Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
