you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
