remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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