I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
