well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
