Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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