You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
