I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize