she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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