omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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