Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
