Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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