Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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