I love black thongs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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