He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
