just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
