fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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