i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
