This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
