the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Fuck appropriateness.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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