You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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