My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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