i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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