Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
