It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
