Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
