So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize