Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
