I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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