She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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