I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We need to get me chipped asap
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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