I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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