so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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