that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
