Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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