i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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