i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
