yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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