actually, I'm a sock model
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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