I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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