He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
