well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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