So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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