he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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