If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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