Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize