We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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